Monday, July 18, 2011

Brave Lions

This life we live is not as simple as a bird swaying in the breeze.


It's hard to put anything into words normally.  And to find meaning in anyone else's words are like separate worlds explaining each others culture.   What two people see while looking down from a mountain are fairy tales apart.  Same ending of a desperate need for understanding their joy and a lifetime away from matching each others reasons for it.


Me:
What I find to often to be felt in my heart is like a caged animal.  These are emotions.  The unsuspecting acknowledgement of this animal is normally automatic and sensed before or after most occasions.  Far too often though the inward is acknowledged and kept safely underneath the surface.   To many thoughts of what is going on behind the backdrop happens like a curtain drawn before a play.  And this is where I begin, and where I end.  This is who I am, often someone who is somewhat aware of what action to take or show, but waits.  Some can call this dumb, others a coward and others wise.  I know, though, the Lord has me this way for a reason.


Some people are expressive, others expressive without cause.  Some are simply quiet, and some are quiet because they are found trapped to be otherwise.  I am found somewhere in the quiet spectrum, and rarely found in the expressive.  Like I said, it's hard to put anything into words.  Like a whip giving a lashing, it knows not what it's action creates.  The horse knows full well though.  So does the skin of anyone who's ever experienced its fierce crack.  But the whip is only a whip and never used on itself.  And so often this can be our caged animal.  Fully alive, made aware but lost for it's use.  Like a gift with no direction.  Like a billboard for a free car to all who come, but never saying where to go.


Personal introspection, as to self-observe and give report of conscious inner thoughts, desires and sensations come naturally.  By this no one but self knows.  Extrospection, as to observe things externally from one's self is seen by everyone but self.  The whip knows it moves, but is unaware of its delightful gift.  Just like the caged lion who is unaware of why he is caged.


The thought that often follows far to often and without being spoken or heard, is "why?".   This question comes from a century of questions.  This was the first question the newborn unknowingly asks and the last question the elderly sadly might be thinking.


Why do I have a grasp on a mental process or outward verbal expression, which meets others like vomit or a sweet aroma?  To be honest this is a question far older than we even think about.  Not only did our oldest relatives question their families status, move east, "start fresh", gain personal status, try to answer THEIR own why question or wonder if they were needed "here".


I'll take you to where I believe this "why" began.  And sadly did not stop.


This life we live is not for the answers.


The unavoidable fact or reason where questions are directed to is known usually.  To a friend, a parent, a coworker, a boss or an enemy.  But how often do we realize the question is much deeper than that.  Now to put a point on the map as to where the question began is found in Eden.


Why did, Why was, Why were, Why can, Why Why Why.  It makes a sudden anger arise and doubt hit the fan as well as the caged animal fight for its freedom.  What answer from any situation are we truly seeking?  A logical, reasoned solution to cure an already faced barrier away from joy?  Joy that was lived before it arose?  Before any question comes into your mind from any daily happening was there truly joy?  And if so from where?


When I wake up I am joyful for the days new beginning.  The hope I have in finding the fresh start to the day.  By noon though, there has suddenly became a break in the gap.  The day is no longer as sweet as I remembered it being in the morning.  I am rushed.  I am longing for that hope, that freedom from the joy of the day unfolding.  But by noon I have found that it's not coming out to be as adored as I had hoped.  I'm getting buried under stress of my expectations.  I begin to ask questions. And again, there I find an animal roaring behind a curtain.


Now back to Eden.  When Adam fell, he was not longing for much.  He knew what he had and why and what for and...by who.  From what the Bible tells us, God and Adam had communion, real communication and no barrier.  Which broke soon after the apple incident.  What a choice!  But what question was going through Adams head?  Maybe, why not?  Maybe he had felt God's love, which was so amazing and real, and thought that God would not be hurt?  Was he thinking God would maybe forgive and forget then and there?


Whatever the question, or thought or denial Adam went through, we are going through still.  We are afraid to stop asking though.  I believe Adam hit rock bottom outside of the garden, felt like a complete idiot and came to repent from that very moment.  Never asking why again.  Or at least I like to think it that way.  He learned his lesson.


But have we?  Have we not gotten angry at God because we find ourselves lost in our own emotions?  Have we gotten so relaxed in finding that we can control situations that when they fall apart our anger seems suitable?  Are we really that pride(fall)?


Like a Good king over his realm, he states the boundaries.  Not because he just felt like doing it that way, but because he fought for them, he made it possible to be as large or as small.  Not to have his country ask why it was not bigger but because he knew what they needed.


In our minds we think like a caged animal.  Mindless, deranged, scared and full of rage.  Or possibly just sleeping between fits of rage.


The way which our God has paved through Christ is like that Good king who fights for more land than needed to make his people overly joyful.


This life we live is not as simple as a bird swaying in the breeze, because that bird will soon have to find shelter from the coming storm.  He may have to fly south but for him he has only one option.  To flee.  He cannot ask why.  He can not fight the storm and answer it's reason for being there.  He accepts his battle and fights a good fight, by leaving the danger.  Like human nature.  Except we often fight instead and find we are stubborn and a fool for trying.  When facing God, as a fool, we'll lose everytime.


But he is the Good King.  Who bought up all the land around Him, so much so that it is bigger than His people need.  He opened the door as well.  Allowing others to come in.  Not to overrule the chosen people, but to become as equals under Him.


When there are storms and we try to fly through them we'll only get hit by hail.  And as a spiritually small bird, that can kill you.  Don't let your human nature become stubborn and stay there, to close yourself off from the freedom that has been handed to you.  Choose to let the caged animal be tamed and given a purpose, a purpose only Christ can give.  He knows the introspection and extrospection of self better than you.


Face the storms with the knowledge that Christ makes sense of them all  Without Him the storm is a destructive storm, but with Him the storm is an opportunity to getting to know his purpose for that storm.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

My Testimony

I have thought of writing (sending this) far too often, but do not. [Written 3 months ago...]

To decide, is to put to death 999 other options and choosing just 1.
I choose other options, far to often.  I can also be quite busy.  Good thing this is not my day job.

Recently I spoke at our youth group on the topic of Deciding. 
We decide to do things all the time, sometimes without the knowledge that we decided between options.

I have not always been this person you know today.
When I was in High School I decided to surround myself with encouraging friends or friends who could pull me down.  I decided to lie, hide, steal, do drugs or to be seen as a "good person".  

If you are reading this and just thought to yourself, did Daniel ever steal, lie do drugs etc.?  You are in for a surprise.  Sadly, I hid that from you to often and like a secret or addiction, it lies hidden (for awhile).  If you know this as my Past you are part of a  large minority.  In the past I decided to keep it on the down low.  If any of you knew me in the past are surprised  by what you just read, I would too if I were you.  I decided to lie.  I decided to keep secrets.  I decided to go on like life is manageable.  I decided to break laws.  I decided to live for self, and make something of myself.  Little did I know the more I soaked in those lifeless habits the less of an individual I became and more of a worldly mass I became.

In High School I decided to follow the cravings of adolescence and rebel.  Not for the pity of others, or the label of a the masses but for myself.  For finding out for myself what the hype was all about.  What desires became fulfilled from filling them with secrets, lies, drugs, alcohol, hangovers, stung-out days, and even the persona of a mystery novel.  What I came to find out soon to be true was, people decide to lie to themselves.  

I chose to be unseen due to my fear in the consequences of your knowing my true thoughts and character.  Who I was, at that point in my life, was by no means abnormal.  Anyone knows the pressures, desires, questions, denials and lies they were fed as an adolescent.  Any adult can see now that they were once whispers, but as they grew older they have become grotesque yells from the back of their head. Hopefully now you recognize those desires as something undesirable or unfruitful in your life and wanted freedom.  

The freedom received from those immature behaviors and paths may have been truly changed or might be self-deceived and thought to have been eliminated.  

I once was lost but have been found.  The person I was is lost, the person I am is now different and alive.  The person I was, was living for self, by self-desires, self-wishes, self-dreams.  

Self.

To live for self means that you have it all in control, you know the answers, you know why you're here, you don't have to ask any questions.  That person who was getting all those lies and thoughts jumbled and confused, creating questions and doubts died.  The person who is living and seen now is living so free and happy.  By one thing.

I am not attempting to candy-cote, deceive or trick anyone reading.  The attempt to give you the full picture of an individual finding freedom on earth can only come one way.  And I cannot jump into how that is done without stating it right out and the world may hate hearing this truth.  You know that there must be a reason for all of this.  
I had to lose myself to find myself.  I had to give up all that I was, am, desired, wanted, dreamed of becoming, everything.

I changed because Christ changed me!  I heard of the Bible quite often growing up, but never really believed in it.  I probably acted like it at times, but never really believed in it.  I didn't want to decide, I wanted to stay in the grey area.  But when I was at the edge of my life, knowing I was so confused and lost, God spoke to me through the Bible.  It was intense, real, nothing a movie could copy.  It is something personal, intimate and real.  All my life I believed that love was what I found or created through my relationships.  Not so with God.  He actually already loved me.  For who I was, even before I picked up the Bible and I knew Him.  No cheesiness about it, it's just truth.  The lies that I listened to and the lies I had become were no match to the love He had for me.  

I began to change.  I felt like I should change.  I was reading the Bible and felt convicted about what I was doing, and how I was living.  I stopped drinking and doing drugs.  The enemy spoken of in the Bible was becoming more and more real to me.  He didn't want to let me go.  He made me feel dumb for reading, he told me more lies.  He told me how to truly live apart from the Bible and still be happy.  But it was a dumb lie, because the Bible reassured me I was on the right path.  But for some reason the Bible made me feel like I should change.  So as I tried, it became harder and harder.  

Deciding what to live for/by...
I read Romans 3:23 which says All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.  After reading that I acknowledged that my life was a mess and I am unable to make it right on my own.  I had tried but it was doing nothing for me.  

I read Romans 6:23 which says for the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Once reading this I knew that it was true.  There was no more doubts in my mind that were being defeated or tempted to doubt.  I was reading God's Word, where there are no lies and only freedom.  

I read John 3:3 which says Jesus said-  I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again.  After reading that I was on the confused side.  Thinking I was growing closer to our God but then thrown into a loop and confused.  How could I be reborn?  

Then I read John 14:6 which Christ said, I am the way the truth and the life.  NO ONE comes to the Father except through me.  Woah, at this point I realized I was attempting to talk to God, without the actual "ticket", "admittance", "piece to the puzzle", "key".  That meant there must be a load of facts about Christ that I needed to understand first.  How He, on earth, was God in mans image.  How He was and is God! No wonder I should go to Him first.  How or why though?

Then I read 1 John 1:9 which says, If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar and his word as no place in our lives.  So I did just that.  Why? God's love is so strong when you are drawing near to Him, that you want more and more of Him.  Nothing like a girlfriend, wife, husband or friend's love.  Real love.  

Then I read Revelation 3:20-22, which says, Here I am!(!!!) I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.  To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne.  He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.  

Christ's Spirit wanted to live in me. 
All the things I had done in my past were still in me though right?  But, o yeah,  I confessed them.  What He hears he forgives, forgets and wipes clean.  So after all the horrible, pointless, sinful things I did in my past the Spirit of Christ lives in me.  Decide to believe it or not.  But what the Bible says will never change.  It is strong and alive.  Ask any true believer if it is and they will say YES.  

Then I was changed, no more desires of the world, no drugs, alcohol, lies, frustrations, anxiety, depression, loneliness, questions!, doubts or anger!  Because the verse Galations 2:20 became true.
"I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me, the life which I now live I live by faith in the one who loved me and gave His life for me."
(tattooed on my right side)

Decide.  Stop putting it off.  Don't listen to lies any longer.  Find out for yourself the freedom Christ Gives for free.   And I will see you in Heaven as we live forever praising Him and living in His awesome beautiful Kingdom.  Free from the trials of this world.  

It starts with that decision, although the days to follow may be hard and confusing at first, the choice to allow Christ to take over every part of your life gives more joy, happiness, meaning, excitement and purpose than any party, drug, mystical book, and any other religion.  And by other religion, I mean not strictly from the Bible.  

Read the Bible, pray/speak openly and honestly to Him.  

I have been a sold out Christian for 4 years now and even though the path is narrow and rough it will lead to an eternity with our Maker.  see also Matthew 7:13.  I will never take back my choice to follow Christ, He is real and alive and so awesome.  We will be face to face someday. Romans 14:11 "As surely as I live', Says the Lord, "Every knee will bow before me, Every tongue will confess to God that Jesus Christ is Lord!"

Christ DIED for the sins of all men, decide to allow His blood to cover over your sins so that you may be saved from Hell.  Hell is a real place.  Christ spoke of it and so will I.  But the story of Hell has no fear when we decide now to accept the grace which we do not deserve. 

Don't wait till it's to late, when you stand before Christ and given an eternal sentence.  Luckily we have time now to pass this test that will be a pass/fail, no redo or extra credit accepted.